Sworn In

This past Sunday I was sworn in as as divisional staff officer for the USCG Auxilliary. With that I'm also now a flotilla staff officer and a detachment commander. I find this all a bit too much for me to handle sometimes. I'm about the least military person you can imagine and now I'm running around in a uniform that makes me look like a Lt.(jg) and people call me sir with a straight face. How did this happen?

I'm not too sure. I feel a bit like a drag queen sometimes when I put on the uniform, and my kids do laugh at me (which is good). Nevertheless I feel like I'm doing some good, I'm getting trained to do rescue work (playing with a helicopter was fun, BTW), am developing more proficiency with boats and I do feel like I've lifted a big burden of guilt from my shoulders. I still remember coming out of the subway on my way to the World Trade Center Krispy Kreme and thinking quite clearly that there was nothing I could do but go in the other direction. I've been feeling terrible about that useless realization ever since. Even with the training I still have a clear understanding that in a real emergency my primary contribution would be to walk away and not be another victim, but at least now I know I can do some good within some kind of structure at some point in a crisis. I also am getting far more comfortable on the water, which is a personal goal.

Why am I talking about this in the context of my dissertation? Well, in the context of the Coast Guard it seems that activity theory has a place. You learn to do things on the water and on land mostly through a social context. Our textbooks and training materials are not all that great, but the process of becoming crew or coxswain is one not of reading, but of being mentored and pulled along. With the auxilliary, where all is voluntary, this social aspect of learning is what makes it work. On a boat or in a flotilla you have a broad range of skill levels and expertise and you learn by sharing. It's really interesting to see how people with no boating skills become proficient and make crew by being crew. Quite encouraging.

As for me, you become an officer by taking on responsibility and putting on the uniform; the role comes before the knowledge or the expertise. Interesting.